Regardless of what some may believe, not all customers are treated equally!  The way we are treated as customers largely depends on our behavior as a customer. Customers that are friendly and willing to allow the expert to do what they do best as long as results are happening will often get more work than they paid for and their projects will be at the top of the priority list.

Niche freelancers and experts have the right to pick and choose who they are going to work with. Some of the best experts I know won’t touch certain clients with a 10-foot pole. When I wanted to hire one of Jack Canfield’s consultants, I had to complete a full page questionnaire and a full phone interview before they would even consider me as a client.

I wonder if these customers know much they are getting in their own way when it comes to getting quality results. After a while, these horrible customers can never get work out of the top experts and end up working with anyone who will put up with the abuse.

Working with a broad range of clients has definitely taught me how to be a better customer and get better results from those that I contract for jobs. For those that desire to get only the bare minimum that they paid for and lower than average results here is a guide to how to be the most annoying customer ever:

Hire A Professional to Solve Your Problems And Then Tell Them To Do Everything Your Way

Even if you know nothing at all about design, copywriting, SEO, taxes, financial planning - or whatever you are hiring a professional to do for you, dictate every single detail of the project and use the professional as a tool to complete it.

When the Professional Delivers Exactly What You Ask For, Complain that You Don’t Like It

After you’ve essentially stripped all of the creative rights from the person you’ve hired to do the job and they’ve done what you asked, complain that it doesn’t work. Ask the professional to do it again using another one of your own ideas that didn’t work the first time.

Hold Up the Project And Then Complain That It’s Taking Too Long

When you are asked for feedback, don’t answer right away or provide elusive responses. Take weeks to respond with critical information necessary to move forward. Then one day, send an email in ALL CAPS asking “WHAT’S THE HOLD UP?”

Involve As Many Unqualified People As Possible In the Decision Making Process

When you get your website/copy/blueprint/etc. to review, make sure that you ask as many people as possible for their comments. Then, have every one of those people email the professional directly with their personal opinion - even if they contradict each other. Do not hash out your feedback beforehand and then send a single email with your collective thoughts, let the professional deal with that. Then, when he/she implements one suggestion given by Mary in accounting and another from Josh the web guy down the street, complain about how horrible the project is turning out and ask to redo everything.

Share Your Experiences!

If you’re a freelancer or run a small business, you’ve no doubt had one or more of these nightmare clients - especially in the early days before you learned the warning signs.  If you’ve got more tips and pointers about how to be the most annoying customer ever, feel free to add them to the list!

Tags: Business Building, Hangout Cafe //